Rogers Family

I don't know how to explain it, without going into details. But these past couple of days have been hard........sad, lonely, frustrating. Will likes to blame it on hormones (which I know is some of it) but then again, whenever I feel like this, he always blames it on hormones. Which makes me even more frustrated. None of my problems are huge things, but just a combination of small things that have built up and my natural instinct is to solve it myself. Whether it's alone time, keeping busy, trying to relax, seeking guidance from above, etc. But I never can find a permanent solution for when I feel like this. I end up going into a "I wish...." stage: I wish I could get over this.... I wish they would understand..... I wish that person knew...... I wish I was better at..... I wish I could be like other people and let it go...... But I found myself very nostalgic for family last night. Like wishing my brother or my mom or my dad was right around the corner where I could go, sit and feel comforted, without explanations. Just a need for being near people who have known and loved me all my life, and get things out, have a hug and start fresh in the morning.

But I guess that is one of the luxuries of living close to family. I knew this when I moved here......that I would have times when I'd want them near. And I really don't have a lot of times like this where I'm missing them so much. But when I do...........

Well as I was sniffing away, trying to compose myself last night, I got on the computer to try to.....well.....I don't know why I got on. But I found myself clicking on the link to the church's music site. Music has always been a comfort to me; especially the hymns. I use this site often for choosing music for my calling. I don't quite know all the hymns in the hymnbook, but they do have an audio for them. It's just a simple piano accompaniment. Well, for some reason as I was looking through the titles, I saw "Abide with Me; 'Tis Eventide". I pushed play and listened:

• Abide with me, 'tis eventide. The day is passed and gone;
• The shadows of the evening fall, the night is coming on.
• Within my heart a welcome guest, within my home abide.
• O Savior stay this night with me; Behold, tis eventide.
• O Savior stay this night with me; Behold tis eventide.

• Abibe with me, 'tis eventide. Thy walk today with me
• Has made my heart within me burn, As I communed with thee.
• Thy earnest words have filled my soul And kept me near thy side.
• O Savior stay this night with me; Behold, tis eventide.
• O Savior stay this night with me; Behold, tis eventide.

• Abide with me, tis eventide, and lone will be the night
• If I cannot commune with thee nor find in thee my light
• The darkness of the world, I fear, would in my home abide.
• O Savior stay this night with me; Behold, tis eventide.
• O Savior stay this night with me; Behold, tis eventide.

Even though this hymn had nothing to do with my frustrations, it reminded me that no matter how sad and lonely I feel, He will always be there for me. He knows me, He knows what I go through, He feels my pains and frustrations and He won't ever leave me all alone. It helped calm my emotions and feel somewhat at peace, for the moment. I'm so grateful for what I've been given and for the trust and honor He has given me. And even when it's hard, I know he depends on me to fulfill the responsibilities and duties I have as a wife, mother and daughter of God. I shouldn't let him down.